Finding My Calling

I've been whining everywhere lately about runners. EVERYONE seems to be doing c25k or interval training or something. Everyone's talking about "my run." And while I tried to start C25k , even buying nice new running shoes (sorry, honey), I have not done well. And I've been loathing runners.

See, the thing is, I WANT to be a runner. I listen to runners talk about how it makes them feel, how they float, how they get this endorphin rush and just fly. I want that desperately. But when I run? I feel crushed. My body hurts. It cries. It SCREAMS. Even starting slow.

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I am a chronic buyer of exercise videos. I own VHS tapes (huh? VHwhat?) of Billy Blanks' Tae Bo, Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds, Tony Horton's Power 90, etc, etc. I also have Denise Austin's Slim in 6 and of course, Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred (why do all these workouts have names attached? Maybe a hint they're not good enough on their own merit? Megalomania?). The only one of these I ever did consistently for more than a couple weeks at a time was Tae Bo. I love Tae Bo. I have considered finding a VHS player just so I can copy my Tae Bo tapes. But I digress.

I SUCK AT BEING MOTIVATED TO EXERCISE! Oh, sure, I start off all gung-ho. But two days or two weeks in, I start slacking off and, as the conservatives say, it's all downhill from there.

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McCathy had some interesting insight to this issue. She suggested that maybe we should just lay off the crap we can't make ourselves want to do and stick with what we love. Great advice, but WHAT do I love? Cause honestly, I can't seem to stick with anything! I've considered a kickboxing class, especially at AndreAnna 's prompting, but getting dressed and to the gym just so I can huff and sweat in front of a bunch of lithe women is NOT something I can count on myself to be motivated to do.

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Recently, though, I've been biking. It started off as something we did for fun with the kids. Then one day Luke suggested I go for a bike ride so I could stop hating myself in the face. And it felt SOOOO good. A couple of days later, I convinced him we should ride downtown for dinner. It was a 7 mile out-and-back (and guess what? like 700 calories), with dinner and some hanging out at Barnes & Noble in between. At dinner, I was more than satisfied with an apple/walnut/gorgonzola salad. By the time we got home, I felt like I was floating. Sound familiar?

So I think I've found my niche. And the neat thing is, after biking, I don't feel like dying the way I do when I try to run or Shred. In fact, I feel like I could go all day. So maybe I can get it a 20-minute shred after a shortish (5-10 mile) bike ride. Maybe not. Either way, the road is calling and I'm listening.

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Daily Gratitudes

-- homemade hummus, especially the cost

-- kids who cooperate at the grocery store and OMG the mall

-- Naptime

-- Brotherly love, those random huge hugs between my boys

-- The way Jude grabs my arm or leg for a big hug and says, "mama, mama, mama, mama"